Having The Conversation
Having the conversation with your partner.
This article is for the men who want to approach their partner about getting into the lifestyle.
As swinging in today's world is becoming increasingly popular, we can officially say goodbye to the taboo that still hides behind the name of being seedy and underground. Many different generations are now becoming swingers and are having more threesomes, foursomes and group parties than ever before.
Understanding how women think
For a guy, it's naturally built-in your DNA to hunt for sex. Still, it's different for women, especially if she is married or connected with one person. When you approach your wife about the topic of swinging.
She will automatically think of one hundred reasons why it's a bad idea before thinking of one good one.
Let me be clear. Not all women think the same, but I am talking from my own experience and from other women I know in the swinging community.
What my husband said to me
My husband and I were lying in bed one night just putting the world to rights. Then, finally, he turned over and looking at me and said, "I want to talk to you about something without judgement or to take the piss."
" I've known since the day we met you was bisexual, but I have this feeling where I want you to sleep with someone else"
"If you're ok with this, I want you to do it; I don't want a free pass to sleep with another woman but to fulfil my fantasy."
"If it doesn't work out how I imagined it, don't worry. We're both emotionally mature to move past it without any repercussions and carry on as we are"
"I love you, I trust you, and we will be together no matter what. We are concrete."
See what he did there? He answered all my negative thoughts in what he said. So let's break it down...
SET THE TONE OF THE CONVERSATION
He set it from the beginning; he didn't want any judgment or taking the piss. I knew he was being serious, and I was all ears.
Please implement this from the start; if you're anything like us, we joke about everything and banter with each other constantly, so we don't have many serious conversations.
GET TO THE POINT
He got to the point straight away. He didn't babble on about his feelings. Instead, he told me exactly what he wanted.
SQUISHED MY THOUGHTS
He told me he didn't want a free pass to sleep with another woman or bring other women into our relationship. HE DIDN'T THINK WITH HIS COCK. Which was pleasant to hear for me, and this was my first thought.
My husband reassured me that we'll be there for each other no matter how it turns out. We're concrete. If it didn't work, we could simply move on like it never happened without bringing it back up.
I've always been sexually open-minded; for me to think about it and be reassured, it was a no brainer. We have built foundations and trust to have an open marriage. We both can play together with some one else or meet people on our own. With full communication where nothing is hidden.
Take note. If you try and have the conversation with your partner and it doesn't work out... Please don't go and cheat. Openly communicate and see why she is saying no. Work on it.